Life Influences

I first went bodyboarding in January 1998, the day I arrived in Bunbury after moving from a small town called Pooncarie in far western NSW. I was staying at the long closed Punchbowl Caravan Park. I can vividly recall walking across Ocean Drive and the waves seeming huge. My first wave riding experience was busdriving a messy head high closeout. It didn't take me long to start going into the beach regularly, usually with my best friend Viv Blurton. He had an Atunas with a slick bottom, which to me, was very cool. I had a purple Reaction bodyboard that my sister got from Big W. For Christmas 1998 I pleaded and harrassed until I was given a Black Quiksilver Q-42. That summer and most of the next year consisted of surfing the stretch from Back Beach up to BP Groyne. At school I would hear people talk about a wave in the outer harbour. The Bay was considered heavy and far more dangerous than anywhere we 13 year olds had surfed. I first went down there in August 1999 with Viv, Shawn Cole (who had inherited a Hot Buttered Steve Sonter off his older brother). This was in the time when the first security gate didn't exist. Instantly everywhere else I had surfed was old news. Walking around the corner to see the old graffiti covered crane towering over the wall seemed to add to the excitement. The older bodyboarders were so intimidating. They were so good and made it look effortless. Tristan Farmer, Colm Kavagnah and Steve Turner would take turns filming each other from the rocks. A nameless surfer clad in an old fluro wetsuit with long untidy hair would impress with his aerial acrobatics. He became known as "backflip boy" due to his ability to regularly complete this and other far out of reach moves. After school sessions became essential. Catching the 010 bus after school and running from the Cinemas all the way for a late arvo session, regardless of the conditions, was a regular occurrence. As was the long walk back to catch the last 601 bus of the day at 5.50pm.

Memories I have of days spent at The Bay are directly linked to the magazines in these pictures. A quick flick through any of these can remind me of an all time session. Like the pupil free day Friday in 2001 when Matt Moore scored the wave of the day at flawless Left Wall. Cala's big full body air.The many afternoon solo surfs that I would in 03-04 until Chongy, covered in Ilmenite, would pop over the hill screaming with excitement. Hanging sharing waves with Alan, Jamo and the Browns over the last few years. Right up to Borlini and Parrot Kid rescuing sea life a few months ago.
Best of times. Best of life.

C.P

1.Where do you live? What is the best and worst thing about it?
I live in Melbourne. Well 8km from the city actually. I think it's an awesome city. I love it here. Best thing is there is always something going on, art, music, hanging out, partying. The worst thing and a constant source of disappointment would have to be the fact that we don't have a giant marble ball sculpture with flowing water that rotates and like Bunbury does.

2.What do you do for a crust?
Right now, I'm a freelance graphic designer and artist. So i work for myself. Mostly music related design. I once did 3 months of a hairdressing apprenticeship before I realised sweeping hair up isn't fun.

3.What was the first CD that you ever bought?
It was actually called Disney Afternoon. It had theme songs from all the sweet early 90s Disney cartoons, Darkwing Duck (Let's get dangeroussss), Gummi Bears etc. Great stuff. I think it was 92 or so when I got it.

4.What is the longest flight you have ever been on?
I flew Melbourne to Singapore then Singapore to London in one go. I think it totals at 25 hours travel. A fat lesbian actually uppercutted her weedy alcoholic father in the face and he punched her numerous times in the top of the head on the first leg of the journey. They had to be restrained and moved and Police were waiting at the gate lounge. They were both rat arse drunk. Literally sitting next to me arguing for 6 hours before it finally came to blows. True in flight entertainment, better than watching the movie that was on, "Evan Almighty".

5.Have you ever used an oxy?
I'm ashamed to say I actually have not had the pleasure. I've used a regular welder. And used many a belt sander to launch numerous items with enough force to penetrate the foam panel ceiling in the woodwork room back in high school. But for now, no Oxy. My "man" apprenticeship is far from complete. I do, however, have some of the more muscular thighs going around, real man legs.

6.What is the best show you have attended? Played?
I think the best show I have attended would have to be the backyard Mindsnare house party in Melbourne that we threw a few years back. 200 people in a backyard, raw sausages, bikes, whipper snippers, fireworks, a bbq on fire and 6 kegs. People on the roof, fence, everywhere. It was like a teen movie. Brilliant.

As far as playing shows goes, back when I was in Her Nightmare we had some ripper shows in Sydney, Playing a sold out Manning Bar was always awesome. Just getting to tour and make friends with some great people who I still keep in touch with a lot is the biggest highlight.

7.Why do you think there is an almost universal hatred of fixed gear bicycles?
I cant quite figure it out, there is definately a strong overall hate for them, but there is different varieties.

There is hate from more "OG" Fixie dudes, ie " I was into this for years and now every fag has one".

Hate from hardcore bike dudes who ride 21 speed or mountain bikes or whatever, ie "Its just not functional, its fashion over function"

There is random hate from dudes who don't even ride a bike, just cos its cool to hate on Fixies, ie " ya fucking fixie faggot wheres the art show ya poof!"

For the most part, there are a lot of absolute goons riding Fixies, but also some of my best friends too. I get my share of abuse, gotta take it ya know, its all fair game. My good friend Andy Murphy told me with a stern look on his face when he saw me on a Fixie " If it aint Fixed, don't break it, ya bloody poof." What a guy.

8.I know you are an experienced van driver/tour manager. What band has been the most memorable to have dealt with?
I have done lots of tours and made some of my best friends from playing tours. Working with the Ceremony was a whole lot of fun. Those guys rule and I'm heading over to do a tour with them in the states in February 09. I had the pleasure a few weeks back of driving and hanging with the Bronx in Melbourne. They are one of my favorite bands so it was awesome to find out they are awesome fun dudes and just a bunch of dickheads like me and all my friends.
I also once drove the guy from Grinspoon to get a facial once. That was weird.

9.What was your first job?
I used to sell umbrellas (ella ella aye aye) at the Vic Market on a Sunday morning when I was 12 years old. It was the stall owned by my next door neighbor, hence I was allowed to work underage in true carnie fashion. Around the same time I used to re-stack the drink shelves from the inside of the fridge at the local milkbar. The deal was I got $5 bucks no matter how long it took me. But while I was working I could drink as much as I wanted! I used to be buzzing for hours, drinking everything I could. Jolt cola, Banana Big M, Apple Juice, Red Creamy Soda, Lime, Dr Pepper, Mango and Banana Nectar, Oasis Ice T. I would regularly drink all of those in a shift and also leave out boxes of Coke near the dumpster for my mates to come and steal. Glory days.

10.Which AFL team do you follow?
I followed Essendon as a little tacker cos of my Dad, but I no longer follow a team. The last time I went to a game of AFL was in 1994 or 5. Essendon Vs St Kilda at Waverly when the lights went out in a blackout. It was like the LA riots with a much smaller percentage of black people. Seats were set on fire, goalpost ripped down. It was quite the exciting moment for a 10 year old like me. I have not felt the need to go back since. I don't want to ruin the magic when next time there is no riot squad.

11.Most famous person you have ever talked to?
Well, it's a fair namedrop, but you asked. I went to a party a few days before Xmas 07 in New York. It was only about 30 people, an intimate small gathering. I went with a friend of a friend. Ended up talking with Michelle Williams (pre-Heath Ledger dying) about how good the mince pies were, and later chatted to Claire Danes aka Juliet about Australia, New York and catching mice. It was a kewl Party.
Also I met Doctor Harry once at the opening of a local Veterinary Clinic with my mate Cammy. I am also an acquaintance of Nick Miles Away.

12.Most money spent in one night?
I don't even know, not that much though. I don't drop hundreds of bucks going out getting wasted. If its a huge night it's usually started somewhere beforehand with drinks to save cash. I've never earnt a lot of cash so I never burn it to hard. I did spend 2 Grand in 8 days shopping once on a holiday. It felt great, like shaving your armpits in summer.

13.Who is someone you would punch if you met them?
Hard to say. I'm a lover not a fighter, but I guess if I had to maybe Hitler? Daryl Somers as well.

14.Have you ever been arrested?
Nope. Couple of bike helmet fines when I was a kid though. Now if I see a cop I just pedal my fixie backwards and Mr Plod is none the wiser.

15.Who is someone you admire?
I honestly do admire all of my friends, every one of them, in one way or another. There is good to be found in people, not everyone, some people are a waste of space, but I'm not friends with those people.
I also admire my parents, they are great. Also Sting, I don't listen to his music, but I can appreciate that he does it.

16. What are the chances of you ever being able to do an Air Forward as good as Unzi?
Seriously, I'm a terrible swimmer. I really cant keep up with the surfing standards of my West Coast pals. But i'll sit on my fixie in the carpark and backwards circle my way to happiness.

This interview is a little dated. There was a communication breakdown then Cal took off all over the world for the first half of this year. He is, put simply, a top bloke. As well as being a talented artist and musician. Check out his site. And this one. Also check out his band.

P.C

1.What was your most memorable K-Bay session?
Geez, this is a tough one. There has been many. One new years morning a few years ago was absolutely fucking pumping 4-6ft wedging from right out the back into a second bowl on the inside with a few ramps, and only myself, Corey "Groveler" Oliver, Tommy "Bondi" Bunting and Chris Hamer out for a good few hours. Apart from that any session when its solid with a good bank and all the boys pushing you to go hard and take off deep as possible. I probably surf it the best out of everyone. Lee Kelly stooged me out of the Tama gang photo in Movement.

2.Best holiday/trip you have been on?
I've done a few good WA trips. First year I went we scored solid box for almost 2 weeks straight. One really good day with only 3 bodyboarders, Mick Fanning and Margo out. I always have a good time over there, even if its just hanging at Bondi house or in Inglewood with the infamous 'Onton From Hell' or slumming it down south looking for waves everyday. Coming a close 2nd, I did a few bullshit South Coast trips around 2002/2003 with my good mate Jono where we scored 6ft+ waves every weekend for 6 weeks straight. BIIIGG Nuggan and one rare day at a heavy right that now gets plagued with tow surfers everytime it breaks. I'm too jaded to get down there anymore, besides I dont have the chest to pull off an IAMNONE deep V neck.

3.What is your all time favourite bodyboarding film?
Fuck! there is so many to choose from and so many sections that blow my mind but aren't even in my favourite video. I guess if i had to just pick one it'd be 'Hawaiian Vacation'. Its got everything, Hardy section is amazing, Skipp surfing unbelievable, Young Aussies killing it and Kainoa and Stewart owning Pipe. Honourable mentions go to NF1, Waterworks, Tension 1 and Projected(k bay worship).

4.First CD you bought?
The Offspring 'Smash'. The track "Bad Habit" made me feel so bad ass when he sings that line 'stupid dumbshit goddamn motherfucker!!' I was like 11 or something and had no idea what punk was, now I know it is wallet chains and spiky belts.

5.Favourite AFI Record & Song?
Wow man you love the tough ones!!
I guess it would have to be 'Black Sails In The Sunset', but 'Shut Your Mouth And Open Your Eyes' is hands down the reason I listen to hardcore today.
As for favourite song, anything from any record before Sing The Sorrow.

6.What is the longest flight you have been on?
Sydney to LA, I was 9. First time on a plane and I threw up everywhere. Dad wasn't happy because some got on his good leather shoes.

7.What was your first job?
I'm a lazy fucker at best. I was a checkout bitch at Coles for like 3 weeks when I first left school. I quit and had a 15 month holiday. My first real job was my Greenkeeping apprenticeship. good times!!

8.Why did Discussion With A Gun break up?
We were playing semi tough guy hardcore and to put it simply, I'm not tough. It was nothing like what I wanted to do so I just bailed on it. Needed someone tough like Penno singing.

9.Best show you have been too? (Can be a top 5 if easier)
1. AFI @ The Roundhouse 2003
2. Ceremony AA @ hermanns last year
3. Outbreak @ canberra 2006. I missed my 5 yr school reunion for that. Defs didn't regret not seeing douche bags I went to school with.
4. Comeback kid @ The Annandale (2nd time they came, first time was average)
5. Miles away/ FC5 house show at the bat cave in Bondi!

Now I only go to shows that Pat and The Wreckers play. Fuck everyone else.

10.Who is someone you would punch if you met them?
Apart from you again?
I dunno, I get angry on the spot but I don't hold shit like that in for too long. Maybe if they fucked a girlfriend of mine or messed with my friends or something I would kill them literally. That's about the best i can do though. I actually did beat up Beau Day for snaking me at K Bay once.

11.Best and Worst things about living in Australia's biggest City?
Best:
All the touring bands come through here, plenty of new people to meet if your open and willing. I guess its not much different to living anywhere else except I'm on the coast and there is a shit load of people.

Worst:
Crowded waves, The natural beach formation has been totally destroyed by naive councils and money hungry developers, parking police.

Everyone here is in such a fucking rush, slow down, chill out and enjoy what life has to offer. You could be living in Afghanistan with a mine field at your doorstep or worse, in Bunbury surfing "The Bay" and hanging at the wet ball, what a joke.

12.Earliest memory of Daniel Jameson?
I met him on my first trip to WA in like 2004 maybe? I just remember him taking off on super south kegs out the box and getting totally fucked up. I was thinking 'this guys is fucked in the head'. Then he scabbed a ride with me from Margs to go to a show up in Perth. Hes a sick cunt, I'll give him that, and he hell likes Chicken Treat ayyy.

13.Why did your band change it's name from "Homewrecker" to "Pat And The Wreckers"?
It's all about me, so why not?? I guess the other guys felt rude for taking all my credit so we changed it. I write all the music and all the lyrics so it is basically my band. I am the Australian Danzig. We flirted with the notion of calling ourselves "Bongwrecker" after I smashed the Bondi house Scooby Doo bong in a fit of straight edge rage earlier this year.

14.What is the best bodyboard you have ever owned? What was it's most memorable session?
It defs wasn't the Primal I had I can tell you that!
A few boards have got me through some tight situations, but i probably had my best sessions on a black 40.5 'Alex Bunting' Unknown. Most memorable session on it would have to be out that heavy right I mentioned earlier called 'skiddies'. Was about 6-10ft throughout the day and only a handful of us out including a few older standups from the Tama ghetto but they were too stoned to catch anything. We all got caught inside by a fucking monster, I made it under, they didn't haha! I saw Jose get the biggest, squarest barrel I've seen anyone ride still to this day. World Bodyboards are looking at putting out a Pat Cahill model soon with golf ball dimpled slick and Wingnut style nose piece. Should sell well.

15.Have you ever surfed Shark Island?
A few times. It's definately one of the heaviest waves without a doubt. First time I surfed it, I was young maybe 16 had just started riding a lid. It was like 1-2ft and I was thinking hey its not even bad, then I hit the bottom on a little one and cut my foot up real bad needing a few stitches. Got another real good day one Easter weekend a few years ago too, this time was much bigger maybe by the end it was too big, but it was hard to gt the real good ones cause all the crew were out so we bailed to Voodoo instead and got 10ft kegs to ourselves!

17.Best Nugget story ever heard?
Tom Bunting claims he saw him passed out nude on someones lawn early one evening, then drove past again the next day and he was still passed out nude on the lawn. I also heard he died in Chile. Onton knows way more good stories than I do, its best you ask him!

Pat is a mad dog from Sydney. He sings for a band called Homewrecker. Check them out and drop in on him if you see him at Suck Rock.

Ala Moana Bowl

This is Bunbury trying it's best on a .4m swell. Was pretty awesome fun.
Daniel "Day In, Day Out" Jameson, Kyle "Evsmate" Evill, Alan "Chippa" Rennick and Jayden "Smiddy" Smith were tearing it up.

Segway

I rode one.

I also saw Coldplay last weekend and it was brilliant. I don't think I will enjoy any other band I see this year as much as them.
Unless Chumbawumba make a comeback.

MARRON

Marron season opened on Friday at midday. My mate, Kyle Evill is possibly the biggest Marron fiend known to mankind. On Friday night we headed out after I had finished running around an oval. This was Kyle and Alan's second trip for the day having already claimed their quota during the afternoon.

BLURTON GOT SOME SUPPLIES AND CHONGY STORY FUEL.

CHONGY DOING HIS BEST IMPRESSION OF AN INTELLECTUALLY DISABLED CRAY FISHERMAN.

WHEN YOU GO MARRONING WITH KYLE YOU GO TO WATCH HIM MARRON. STAND BACK AND LEARN KIDS

SOME BLOKE WE RAN INTO DOWN THE RIVER, LORD OF THE RINGTAIL POSSUMS.

CHONGY GOT A MARRON AND ALAN IS PISSED OFF HE IS YET TO CLAIM ONE.

HE GOT ONE.

VIVIAN BLURTON AND KYLE EVILL SHARE A PHOTOGRAPH AND A FRESHWATER CRUSTACEAN.

IS THAT YOU BIG MARRON?

CHONG DONG DOING A WEE OFF AN UNUSED BRIDGE WE MADE BASE CAMP.

Headed out again on Saturday afternoon. Went to a different spot requiring more walking, was pretty scenic though. It is pretty nice to be out in the bush just chilling.


OLD FAITHFUL. RAPED AND PILLAGED TO THE POINT OF NO MARRON. HOME OF THE SUPER CRAY.

WHEN YOU WORK ON A CRAYFISHING BOAT YOUR FEET ARE GOING TO SUFFER. YUCK.

HOW'S THE SERENITY?

FUCK THE SERENITY, SKULL THE RED LEAD.

CHONG SNEAKING UP BEHIND VIV.....

TO PUSH HIM INTO THE DRINK.

SPRAYING SOME CELEBRATORY GRAVEL IN MEMORY OF THE LEXCEN.

Top 10

Here are my Top 10 musical releases of 2008.

1) Coldplay - Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends.


2) Paint It Black - New Lexicon


3) Blacklisted - Heavier Than Heaven, Lonelier Than God.


4) Extortion - Sick


5) Children Collide - The Long Now


6) The Gaslight Anthem - 59 Sound


7) Fucked Up - Chemistry Of Common Life


8) Battletruk - Born To Kill


9) Kings Of Leon - Only By The Night


10) Trapped Under Ice - Stay Cold

CLARK AND MICHAEL

I like this show.
Been around for a while so it isn't "fresh", still it is better than Deal Or No Deal...just.
The show features the dry humor of The Office and the awkwardness of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Winner.
Watch it here.

TOMORROW NIGHT

So tomorrow night is Christmas Eve. For me this means going to the Prince Of Wales. It is generally among the best nights of the year. No one has to work the next day and everyone is high on festive cheer that they get real loose.

Last year was the best one yet. What started off as my friends buying rounds of Jager bombs in a group of 8 or 9, turned into 50 Jager bombs. The mastermind of this plan was Alan Rennick. It cost close to $500 and Alan "Chippa" Rennick fronted almost $200 himself for the experience. 50 JAGER BOMBS chants rang out through the Prince as we became instant cult heroes. Professional surfer Ry Craike even got into the spirit of things proclaiming that we were "sick cunts". Alan became known as "The Mad Jager Bomb Guy" and even had a section of the bar named after him (I scratched his name into it).

There has been talk this year of repeating the feat. With the idea of 100 Jager Bombs been tossed around. We are missing some key men in Daniel Jamo, Clay Sara, Mark Calabrese and Lethal Leon Millar, but have found replacement soldiers eager for a chance at glory. Either way it will be a sweet night and much fun will be had by all. Way better way to spend the night than watching soem shitty Christmas movie with Jonathon Taylor Thomas in it.

J.C

1.Why did you cut your sweet curly 'fro off?
Well, it was upon Stooks' return to Perth from his infamous tattoo world tour. I don't think he ever had a haircut or shaved the whole time he was away, so he was looking pretty haggard. He asked Nic if she'd shave his head and clip his beard for him one night. We all ended up out the back watching his golden locks wither away. It wasn't an easy task, as he might not have washed his hair the whole time he was away either. Steff and I even had a go at it.
After Stooks was finished, Mawds was in there. It was turning out to be a shaved head party. The pressure was on for me to be next. Nic, Stooks, Mawds and Steffan all telling me to shave my head and to make Bondi the House of Skin. I hesitated and after everyone telling me how much they thought it would suit me, I went into my room alone to contemplate the pro's and con's. I had never in my life shaved my head. Obviously the major con's were up there; my big nose, big ears, I'm balding, etc... But the pro's were that I'd look like such a tough cunt, especially with my beard (which I had only started growing back then, again because of Nic) and if Hope Con were ever looking for a new singer, I'd have more of a chance with my 'shaved head with beard' image than my 'curly jew fro' image.
So after one more positive remark from Nic, I got her to shave it and I've kept it ever since. The hair clippers were no more after that night, I went to Big W the next day and bought some baller ones that never need oiling. I figured if I was going to keep at it, The best $25 from Big W can buy is good enough for me.

2.What do you do for a job?
I work for Stratco. I'm your go to man for anything Colorbond. Whether it be fencing, guttering, sheds, fascia, patios or any other roofing material, come visit and I'll suss you a sweet deal. I'm doing pretty well at the moment. I was the number one salesperson in the state for October and received a $200 bonus. I was third the previous month. This month I'm currently first again.

I used to work on a mobile coffee van with Nic. It was awesome for the first few weeks and we were making good money. But, then the interest rates kept rising and we were feeling the heat. Business was down and we were struggling to make ends meet. So we bailed on it, I went back to my old job at Stratco and she got a new job with New Norcia making coffee for yuppies and selling the best bread in Perth. If you're ever there pick up a San Francisco loaf and a Pizza Bianca.
I kind of miss the coffee van though, it was pretty chilled and I got to spend every minute of the day with Nic and we had some great times. Some bad ones too though, like the squatter that followed us home, but in order to explain that I need a whole new interview.

3.What is your favourite TV show?
Seinfeld hands down. No other show comes close. Never have, never will. The characters, the situations, the names, the girlfriends, the one liners, the clothes, I could go on for hours.
My box set is still one of my most prized possessions, the time I heard they were releasing box sets is still one of the happiest moments of my life. No longer did I have to watch old shitty VHS recordings from channel 10. I'd always be in JB Hi-Fi every day the next season was released. I remember when they announced that seasons 5 & 6 was going to be released with a replica Puffy Shirt and I actually thought it was going to be a life size replica. I was so siked and pictured myself wearing it to places, then I got it and it was a mini version. Epicly bummed. And also after I had bought seasons 1 - 9, every time opting for the more expensive release so I got the bonus collectibles with it, like, the Monk's Coffee Shop ketchup and mustard salt and pepper shakers, the replica Puffy Shirt and the replica script of the episode "The Pilot" written by the men themselves Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David. After all of that, they released a complete box set seasons 1 through 9 and with it, a replica Coffee Table Book about coffee tables, with the fold out legs! I was EPICLY bummed.

Other shows that get honorable mentions are:

⁃ South Park
⁃ Curb Your Enthusiasm
⁃ The (British) Office
⁃ Extras
⁃ The Young Ones
⁃ The Micallef P(r)ogram(me)
⁃ Chappelle's Show (before everyone melted it)
⁃ Any David Attenborough Series
⁃ Ross Kemp on Gangs
⁃ The last season of Australian Idol (solely because of Mark Spano)

4.Why did you never listen to punk growing up? First CD bought?
I seriously don't even know the answer to this. I never really got into one musical genre whilst growing up. I used to steal my sister's and brother's tapes and cds and listen to them. They were big Triple J listeners so I kind of followed. Bands like Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Grinspoon, Regurgitator, Silverchair, Spiderbait, The Verve, Radiohead, The Offspring, Blink 182, Pennywise, Rage Against the Machine, Smashing Pumpkins, Weezer, The Presidents of USA, Björk, Tool, Ben Folds Five, Bush, Blur, Custard, TISM, etc... Pretty much any band playing on Triple J circa 1993 - 1998. They even made me watch and tape Recovery for them when I was 9 while they went to work on Saturdays, this was back when Dylan Lewis was actually cool.
Then during the beginning of high school some kids educated me on hip hop, that lasted a year or two before I realised it wasn't for me. I made my transition into metal and hardcore myself during year 11 and 12. I used to browse bands on mp3.com. au and came across I Killed the Prom Queen, they were so heavy like nothing I'd ever heard before. I digged it hard. I sussed their next show. It was an all ages day show at Amps (which is very rare these days). I caught a bus into the city by myself wearing a Thursday shirt thinking I was cool and met up with Scott (BLKOUT!) as we went to school together. Great local line up. Fool The World, Miles Away, Alleged, From The Ruins (Scott went up and did mic shares to "We are family. We are ONEEEEE!"), before Prom Queen brought the mosh. I remember how crazy it was, I had never seen moshing like that before. I didn't know anyone and I remember seeing a short dude (Mawds) in a 'I <3 PQ' cut off, moshing so hard that I was scared of him. During the bands interchange I was talking to this GN and he was telling me he hated Comeback Kid because they were Canadian. I smoked all his ciggies because I was underage at that time. We talked to Tony Ruins at the merch desk after they played. I also think I talked to Sean from Prom Queen, but I can't remember if it was actually him or someone else from the band. We were sweating musos hard. I bought the Wu-Tang Prom Queen shirt in a medium (before I knew that smalls were cool) and Scott bought a Miles Away shirt in youth large (he already knew). Great first gig!

I totally forgot about the second part of the question. Thinking hard when I first went to Bali (maybe 1992 or 1993) I remember I made my dad buy me the Rhythm Is A Dancer cassingle by Snap!, I only listened to it twice before I realised I made a huge mistake. I also remember for my First Holy Communion in year 4, my sister bought me a portable stereo with the debut Presidents of USA cd. That ruled my life because until then I had only heard the radio edit of 'Kitty'. Now 'fuck' was introduced into my vocabulary, my mother was so off my sister. First cd bought (with my money) would probably be Grinspoon's Guide to Better Living and it's still in my car to this day. Australian grunge at it's finest.

5.What is the most amount of money spent in a single night?
I'm assuming this is directed at a night out and it's not that much to be honest. Probably $100 - $200. Back when Friday nights were a tradition at Bondi, I'd always buy a carton of Stella (for everyone hanging on the weekend) and two bottles of red wine for Delby and myself, and two packs of Stuyvies for the weekend of course. So that was a bit of money spent already. Then heading in to iBar was always fun, we went there every Friday night (before Dorcia started) and started getting discounts like triple shot vodkas for the price of one, it was awesome. The first time we went there a Free Mason was trying to 'pick us up' with a baller diamond ring because word got out that if they sleep with a younger guy it's regarded highly. Who knows if that's the truth, I still think he was just a maggot cunt.
Every time we went to Hula Bula Bar though, that was always tough on the wallet. I mean $15 - $25 cocktails is no one's cup of tea. You definitely need the pre-iBar drinks if you're heading there. Then it was on to Carnegies and Amps but I was always too tanked to be even thinking about anymore drinks at that stage. One time I called a cop a fascist pig right to his face. I think that's the most drunk I've ever been (pissed-ola!). Anyways, by the time we'd leave Amps all I could think about was food. Nick and I would bail to Fast Eddy's even though all I could get was a burger with lettuce, tomato and onion and a heap of chilli sauce. Even the chips there have talon in them!

6.Best holiday/trip you have been on?
I have indeed travelled around, but it was mostly with my parents when I was young so I didn't get the most out of it. When I was 9 we went on a trip to Bangkok, Italy, England, France, USA, Canada and then to Sydney and then making our way back home. From what I remember, Italy was heaps of fun. Getting to know all my family that I didn't even know existed was great. Dad's home village was the most fun. It's a little country town with a population of 800 or so people and all I did all day and night was roam the streets by myself or with the other kids and play soccer at the school or go to the pub to play Foosball. I'd be walking around and some kid would say hello and invite me to their house for lunch, the culture over there is really something else. I love it. My dad's cousin had a dog at his farm and it had a puppy, his name was Rocky and I used to hang with him too. Until he accidentally reversed over him with his car. That was a mind blow for me. And also one day we were having lunch at my cousin's house and after we ate I hopped on my cousin's bike and rode up top a hill and started going down full speed. I wasn't wearing a helmet and lost control and the next thing I remember were seeing 20 or so stairs and then I blacked out. Apparently my mum came out swearing in english (that my cousin understood). Anyway, I regained consciousness and they drove me to a hospital about an hour away. I had some tests done and they found some blood in my urine, that was pretty crazy. I didn't like the vibe of the hospital, so I got my parents to sign a release for me. I still have a scar to this day.

The best trip though, would have to be a tie between the Miles Away/Break Even East Coast Summer Tour 2007 and Hardcore 2007. So many memories from those, Unzy was in fine form as always. Met some great people that I'm still friends with to this day, ate some great food, saw some epic gigs and added to an ongoing merch collection. And I owe my heart to those two trips. I became closer friends with all the guys in those two bands and if I never went on either of them, I probably wouldn't be with Nic as I first talked to her in Melbourne on the Miles Away/Break Even tour doing merch for Miles Away (even though she thinks I don't remember her). And I stayed with her during Hardcore 2007. We didn't even go out that weekend. Except the first night at Hot Damn! That was where we had our first kiss. She took my hand up the stairs and we went out for a cigarette and to talk, we sat down in the gutter and she pointed to our star in the night sky and leaned in and kissed me. Then a guy spewed up behind us. It was the most epic moment of my life.

7.Greatest musical event you have attended?
I don't know if I can pinpoint the greatest. Obviously any show when stage moshing was in full effect is up there. Those were some good times. Carpathian are always a contender for a stage mosh. All the shows I went to circa 2005 - 2007 were fun. Back when Parkway Drive were still playing HQ. Shows were good back then. Not saying they aren't good now, just the ambiance has died down a bit. Shipwreck A.D. played some amazing shows here a couple of months ago, they were very tight. Same goes for Ruiner. Hardcore 2007 was an experience for me, 800+ people sweating it out while I was on the upstairs balcony drinking schooners of red wine. The biggest hardcore event I've witnessed. Any Prince show was always fun, always pushing it to the limit every time. A show that stood out for me was on the Miles Away/Break Even tour, they played a show in Penrith and that was pretty intense. I walked to the bar during The Deadwalk! to get a coke and as I walked back, the circle pit was so big that a guy smashed into me and spilt coke all over my shirt. I spent the rest of the show with my shirt off.

Non hardcore shows that I thought were good was seeing Jack's Mannequin open for Fall Out Boy at Challenge Stadium. Atmosphere play in the Boiler Room at Big Day Out 2005. And from the 3 songs I remember Lily Allen play at Metro's Fremantle. And last but not least, seeing Jamie T with Nic, Delby and Scott (Thinktank) at The Bakery was amazing. It was Nic's last night here before going back to Sydney (before she moved here) and Delby drove us to Scott's afterwards and I got high with Scott. Delby dropped Nic and I back home and I passed out as soon as I got into bed. I assure you, she was not happy with that part of our last night together!

8.Favourite Seinfeld character?
I can't answer this question. I try, but I can't. All the other answers came to me so naturally. Now, I'm stuck.

Each are so good in their own way. That's what makes the show so epic. It wouldn't work without any one of them. Even the minor characters play their part from season to season. They all feed off each other to develop some of the funniest characters in the history of television.

Of course you have Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer. Where would the show be without one of these characters? If you take one out, the show would be utter chaos. And I honestly do not know my favourite out of the 4, fuck man, I don't even know my least favourite. Let's digress from the main characters before I go insane.

I can name a few favourite minor characters throughout the series though. People that are up there are:

⁃ Mr. Steinbrenner. George's job with the New York Yankees is complete with his outrageous boss. Voiced by Larry David.
⁃ J. Peterman. Another great boss, this time Elaine is anguished every day.
⁃ Bob Sacamano. Even though we never see Kramer's best friend, I always enjoy the stories he shares about him.
⁃ Frank and Estelle Costanza. How can you go past George's parents?
⁃ Conrad, Connie or Con. Jerry's infamous kitchen renovator.
⁃ Uncle Leo. Jerry's hilarious uncle, "helloooo!"
⁃ Jeffrey. Jerry's arch nemesis cousin that apparently looks like a horse.
⁃ Crazy Joe Divola. "You know he's on medication!"
⁃ David Puddy. Cleary Elaine's best boyfriend.
⁃ Mr. Pitt. Moleland Springs and white socks.
⁃ Duncan Meyer. "I choose not to run!"
⁃ FDR. Franklin Delano Romanowski, "drop dead!"
⁃ The Mandelbaums. The toughest crepe rolling family.
⁃ Jack Klompus. "It writes upside down."
⁃ Jack the "Wiz". Nobody beats him.
⁃ Jackie Chiles. "Who told you to put the balm on?!"
⁃ Jason Hankey. The step skipper.
⁃ Joe Mayo. "Frankly it sounds made up."
⁃ Kenny Banya. "That's gold Jerry!"
⁃ Mr. Krueger. Another boss of George, he hates fake Christmas gifts.
⁃ Lloyd Braun. George's arch nemesis, "serenity now!"
⁃ Manya. "Who figures an immigrant's gonna have a pony?"
⁃ Ned Isakoff. Elaine's communist boyfriend she got blacklisted from Hop Sings.
⁃ Pig Man. Half man, half pig.
⁃ Ramone. The pool guy that tries to befriend Jerry.
⁃ The Drake. Got to love him.
⁃ The Man in the Cape. And any other character played by Larry David.
⁃ The Van Buren Boys. Named after the 8th President of the United States.
⁃ Todd Gack. "I think it's Dutch?!"
⁃ Tom Whatley. He converted to Judaism solely for the jokes.

9.Who is someone that you would punch if you saw them?
Well everyone says I'm a pussy, so to answer the question realistically, probably no one. I've never really been in a fight my whole life. I am very submissive, maybe it isn't good for my health. Maybe I am a pussy, I just see no reason to fight someone. It's pretty primitive and I'd rather walk away. Saying that though, Stooks reckons I'll snap soon and go mental. Unleash my inner warrior. I think I will flip out soon and go mental on someone. I hope not though. I reckon I'd kind of scare myself.

But, I do think of punching people all the time, whether I'll go through with it or not is completely different. You know when you picture yourself smacking the shit out of someone, but you know it would never happen in real life? I think that sometimes. And there are a select few that top that list in my life right now, but I don't really have a reason to punch them if I saw them. But if I had a reason, then watch out. Maybe that's it. Maybe I just haven't had a good enough reason to fight someone. Give me a good enough reason to punch you and I'll do it. A reason I cannot walk away from. Now that I think about it, if someone did something to Nic, either to hurt her or hurt me, I'd have no problem killing someone. Crazy.

10.Best place to get food in Perth?
Unlikely question for a Vegan in Perth. But I do love food nonetheless. It does get tough eating out in this town when all you have are a handful of options. The few places that have kept me going have been Compass Rose in Mount Hawthorn for mock meat Chinese food, Taka's Kitchen in the city for teriyaki tofu and Hanami in Mount Lawley for avocado sushi and The Flying Taco in North Perth for Mexican. And Nic and I just found a sweet little Lebanese restaurant that do great felafel kebabs near Dog Swamp.

But, to be honest, I'd rather have a good wholesome home cooked meal. I don't mind cooking myself. I like pastas and curries and warm meals in the winter time, and salads in the summer. I'll admit I'm not the best at cooking but I try really hard. I love when Nic cooks because she's really awesome at it. She knows things about flavour that I don't and she can make something out of nothing. You see, she cooks me meals and I instantly fall in love with them and want her to make it all the time and she hates that because I ruin it for her. Her meals are epic and should be enjoyed in moderation. One time she made this vegetable lasagna, it took ages to make, but it was so epic. Nick Miles even came round to eat some. I made a vegan cheesecake for Nic's last birthday and she ate about 80% of it in 2 days.

11.Best Bondi memory?
There is not one memory that I can honestly say is the best, so again I'll have to list the top few that come to mind. I've experienced some great times at that house, and for the most part I'll cherish them for the ages.

Agreeing with Nick, the foosball summer of 2007/2008 was great. We used to get so into it that after we played we wouldn't talk for the next day. Someone I would punch would be Nick after he beat me at foosball.

Any time after a weekend out, waking up in the living room. Turning on the Foxtel and watching marathons of Next and Date My Mom. We'd live for that shit. One time we watched Most Haunted. "What's yourrrr name leper?!" "Glizzard!"

Porch Monkey hangs are always great.

That time when Jamo smoked like 3 buckets in a row and you skated down the Green Street hill and jumped the fence and freaked everyone out. Delby also put a frozen coke in between two McDonalds burger buns that night and tried to eat it.

Mexican New Years eve party. Death punch. Rowdy dudes. D-Bombs. Don't remember much other than after everyone left, a few of us smoked a fair bit of weed in Delby's room.

The Deez Nuts house show. Fantastic night, that's probably my best memory actually. Frosty Jacks, dudes throwing up like it ain't no thing. Tried to fight the drummer from Anime Fire and kicked him out of the house because he has a Southern Cross neck tattoo. Shirts off karaoke after Deez Nuts played, thumbs up. Walked into my room afterwards to find Nic passed out on our bed with vomit all in our bedside table top draw, thumbs down.

The last time 50 Lions toured, on their last night here, hanging out the back around the fire with Delby, Micky and Steff. Second best memory. We decided to start putting shit in the fire to watch what would happen. It started with plastic coke bottles and glass bottles of wine and progressed to tins of food to cans of deodorant and finally cans of shaving cream until we created the loudest bang Mount Hawthorn ever heard, the house even shook. Our clothes smelt like an Italian antipasto.

12.Why do you have a FTW mindset?
I guess it's because the world is shit. The way it operates, who controls it, it's all mysterious and all kept secret. Trust no one. I've always loved conspiracies and I know all. I'd say watching conspiracy documentaries has definitely fed my mindset. I don't get why the world has to be like this, why we live our lives this way. We're just a burden on the universe. I don't really see a point in humanity. We're a very selfish race of people. So fixated on us and this planet alone. It's really depressing to think what we could be as a people, but will never be. Sorry to bring you down.

13.What are some things you like to do in your leisure time?
Hanging out with Nic. That's all I do on my weekends. As much as it may sound boring, I really enjoy it. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves but that's to be expected. With her being away the last couple of weeks, it's been really tough. But in some creepy way I feel like our love for each other has grown to a new level and I'm just looking forward to the day she gets back and spending forever with her.

Other than spending time with Nic, I like to play GTA IV on Xbox 360 when I get really bored, but I'm up to the last mission and I can't get past it. Also watching movies on Delby's baller HD TV and surround sound. We just raided the video shop in Leederville. It was closing down and we bought something like 50 dvds between us for $260.

14.Most frequently visited website?
The space and Wordpress. I finally got my blog up and going, even though my friends call me emo, I still like to document my thoughts on things that effect me directly in my life. I've had some good feedback on it so that helps me keep at it.

Two other websites I kind of frequent with is howstuffworksand stuffwhitepeoplelike.

Chicko used to live at Bondi, now lives down the road with Delby.
Was one half of the amazing Fusball team Chickoelsnik that dominated the 07/08 Bondi summer series.
Check out his deeply emotive and well written blog.

N.H

1.What is your all time favourite bodyboarding film?
Talk about a tough opener mate. Well my favourite bodyboarding video of all time is one that not many people would have heard of let alone watched in their lives called "Video Bodyboarders Magazine #8 - The Ultimate Wave Riding Vehicle: For Waves That Don't Want to be Ridden". Yes that is actually the title. Anyway it came out in 1994 and was one of a long running series from Tom Boyle (Hawaii). A couple of friends and I originally bought it for another friends birthday present from Star in about 1995 and we watched it about 5 times when we got home before we gave it to him. Anyway i really wanted that video, and luckily enough a few months later i lent him "Contortion" (that is the video that had sewer surfing and You Am I on the soundtrack) in return for the video i really wanted and conveniently forgot to trade back. I didn't feel so bad though because he never really surfed that much and was more interested with rollerblading and drugs.

Back to the video... It has an amazing soundtrack with lots of smash era Offspring, Sonic Youth and some other awesome grunge bands I don't even know. Nearly all of the footage is from Hawaii, some really good cyclones that hit back then which made Sandys get mental, Kainoa owning everyone out at Ala Moana bowls getting so deep, "king of pipe" section which was Mike Stewart vs Ben Severson vs Kainoa. But the very best section of all is the Aka Lyman section, which is him basically tearing every spot at Sandys apart. So smooth and fluent. You can check out some of the footage here which Mason Rose has taken from the film for whatever he is doing. I guess he likes Aka too, but I've seen some outlandish comments in print from that guy so I don't really care. Note that the music on that clip isn't the same from the actual film. Crisp green blunt cuts. So glad i finally re-bought a pair and even happier I got to go bodysurfing at Sandys earlier in the year. Unfortunately Aka or Seamus Mercado weren't there at the time.

Other favourite videos for me include:
Blast Off 3 (relaxed music, Haouli Reeves section, Tahiti, Barba at wedge etc)
Any of The Underground Tapes (mostly for the music and any Ballard sections, especially the secret section at the end of Vol 4: Ballistic with Ballard and Rick Bannister at Blackrock that I didn't even know existed until about a year after I got the video for Christmas)
Spit (one i got when I went to Cali with my parents and I couldn't play it for like 2 years because of the whole pal - ntsc thing back in the day. When I finally watched it it had Gorilla Biscuits, Minor Threat, 7 Seconds and other crucial bands on it that i wouldn't have even known existed if it weren't for that tape)
No Friends (just the first one, Roach section, Better Than A Thousand, Adolescents, maligro to de la soul etc)
ROT II (probably the most comprehensive mid 90s fat wreck epitaph soundtrack ever)
Monkeys (I got to see new DK riders like Phil Harnsberger, Raffi Meyer & Eric Eliason)
The Inside (just a classic)
And any video that has 'nulla Throwdown on it.

I watch a bodyboarding video nowadays and it really doesn't interest me. The music is pathetic and its just dudes doing air reverses or big airs. That's cool I can't do that shit, so I watch my old videos and Wazza "finewine" getting a closeout or Matt Riley doing a dk floater. I used to sit in front of the family TV and tape the songs off the videos holding an ancient tape player up to the TV speaker and the sound was horrendous but you couldn't get half of that stuff in Australia let alone Perth. If i wanted the music of a video now I'd just go to Capital on Saturday night or some gay Modular records fest. No Thanks.

2.First CD you bought?
I think i just wrote enough for the whole interview in the last question but I'll give the rest a shot.
I'm old so I started buying cassettes first but I couldn't remember what I got first. Lots of cassingles and I have a few of them left. Probably the first CD that i bought myself was a Triple J compilation called "Eleven: A Very Loud Compilation". I actually put it in my car the other days and its got some ripper tracks on it. Check this out for a tracklisting:

1-01 Nine Inch Nails March Of The Pigs (2:54)
1-02 Tumbleweed Daddy Long Legs (3:56)
1-03 Revolting Cocks Do You Think I'm Sexy (5:34)
1-04 Mark Of Cain, The Tell Me (4:21)
1-05 Biohazard State Of The World (3:18)
1-06 Meanies, The Conan (3:26)
1-07 Weezer Undone - The Sweater Song (5:03)
1-08 Magic Dirt Touch That Space (4:20)
1-09 Powderfinger Tail (4:12)
1-10 Carcass No Love Lost (3:23)
1-11 Stone Temple Pilots Meatplow (3:30)
1-12 Silverchair Blind (4:49)
1-13 Powder Monkeys, The Persecution Blues (4:12)
1-14 Alice Cooper (2) Lost In America (3:53)
2-01 Body Count (2) Born Dead (4:54)
2-02 Pantera 5 Minutes Alone (5:50)
2-03 You Am I Coprolalia (3:57)
2-04 Gorefest Erase (5:47)
2-05 Tool (2) Prison Sex (4:55)
2-06 Suiciety T.C.P. (3:49)
2-07 Dinosaur Jr. Yeah Right (2:45)
2-08 Helmet (2) Biscuits For Smut (2:52)
2-09 Green Day Pulling Teeth (2:27)
2-10 Def Ryme Purekiller (4:03)
2-11 Nitocris Ten Stories Down (3:57)
2-12 Smashing Pumpkins, The Geek USA (5:10)

My favourite bands from the disc back then were Stone Temple Pilots, Tool, Pantera and Bodycount. So they made the cut on my pre-surf tapes in the car that my parents used to hate.

3.What is the longest flight you have been on?
Hmmmm. I really can't recollect. I used to be a terrible flyer when I was a kid (spewing up at take off and landing, thinking I was trapped in the toilet when I just couldn't read the sign how to open the door etc). Back and forth from England to Australia is never that good. This year on tour flying from Japan to Germany, Dr Cam, Hot Ash & I legit thought we were gonna die, the plane was such a piece of shit, so that seemed like forever. I might have gotten on Lost if we crashed though so I wasn't too worried. A lot of the time I'll refuse to get up from my seat even on 10 hour plus flights, just because. I hate other people seeing me and I hate making other people move. I probably will die from that someday, not moving on a plane. I also don't like going shopping, walking or doing anything in public by myself, so that figures.

4. Is it true you were once WA State Dropknee champion?
That is a blatant fallacy. I never did a "dropknee" in a comp, maybe once if that. But I did used to go in competitions. First at Leighton Bodyboarders Club (LBBC) and then at Cott Bodyboarders Club (CBBC). I never did any good cos all anyone ever did was spinners and rolls. I couldn't even land rolls til I was about 16 (then I figured out all you have to do is have your eyes open for landing you see). Anyways, I did come 3rd in a final one round, it was a night comp at Cott. My other friends went in state rounds and shit and I'd go watch and surf with 80 other kids just outside the comp zone trying to do 80 spins on a wave.
Then after a while I just burnt out and started getting more into bands than surfing. And then there was those shark attacks around my area, that really put me off.
There are a lot better dropkneer's than me. There is one dude at cott a few years younger than me that shreds now, I always saw him out but don't know his name. So I stopped surfing then went back a few years ago and he made me look terrible. Besides I go try and get some empty rights off the side of the Cott Bell and some faggot 16 year old is hassling me for waves. I hate it. It makes me not wanna go out, or just get a surfboard.

5.What was your first job?
My first ever job was at McDonalds. A new store opened in Applecross and me and all my friends went for a job there. I got it and they both got jobs at the Booragoon one. I was bummed. I worked there for like a year and I was 14 or 15. The hours I put down for my roster were so funny. Available Mon - Thu (5PM - 8PM only). So I didn't work much at all. They'd always make me go out and take the fucking flag down though. So embarrassing. On Canning Highway during peak hour trying to get a flag down in 30 knot winds in a shit uniform. We used to sneak into the freezer with mc nuggets and squirt big mac sauce on them then wrap em in cheese and eat em though.

6.Best show you have been too?
Way to many gigs mate. I've been running a gig orientated lifestyle for some time now. Here are some of my all time faves and why:

Mindsnare first WA visit (2000 or 01) - at this seedy pub in Freo called The Flag and Whistle, it was absolutely mental. so much push mosh and real mosh too. Only a handful of moshers from this era still exist to this day.

Any Ballpoint show - this band is why I exist in a musical realm.

No Fun At All/MxPx (fuck knows) - tightest band with a 40 year old looking singer ever. Grosvenor back room used to be so epic. I was circle pitting all afternoon for this one, so was Sean Virtue.

One King Down Aus Tour (2001) - First time I ever travelled interstate for a "concert". Hardcore over east was a lot different than out west. It was scary and that was exciting. Adelaide were the hardest moshers and they had this tough reputation. Was present for the Day Of Contempt film clip for Drain at Enigma and saw someone break their leg in the pit (Davey C). Shows at Midian (Melbourne) were awesome too. Oh and I loved OKD too.

Interpol - The first time they toured not last year at Metro City. Metro City sucks and I got a really bad view. They did play "Rest My Chemistry" this time though which is my favourite pol song. Metros Freo wasn't much better the first time, but I could see and the light show was fucking perfect.

Hardcore 2004 - The first tour we ever did over east and made so many new friends and ones that are some of my best to this day. The Unzy and Bursky show was pretty good too.

Billy Bragg (2002) - I was shopping in Selectadisc in London looking at records and stuff and then this bloke in the corner starts playing acoustic jams, and its Billy Bragg.

Saves The Day/ Hot Rod Circuit (2002) - Also in London, i finally saw STD and Eben was still in the band. Classic.

Terror First Tour at the Arthouse - Great weekend and many dives. Hitlist aka Threshold and Last Nerve. Golden times for oz hc.

The Police (2007) - huge stadium concert that cost lots of money. But to see Sting was so good.

Oasis @ Rockit (2005/6?) - I was so drunk but it was the fuckin gallaghers, they were drunk too.

And for the pure GET ME UP factor, Lagwagon a couple of years ago and Ignite this year.

7.Most amount of money spent in one night?
Surprisingly not that much. Maybe like a 100 or 200. Well one time I was at the casino playing roulette, black or red as you do and I lost like 100, so I went and got 200 out of the ATM and went back to try and win something back. I was pretty drunk but I had this dealer that I kind of knew called "Angel" (and that's a guy). I started winning and then I did some ridiculously huge bets just because and walked out with $1100. The worst thing is I didn't even use those winnings to do something good, I just pissed em up against the wall again. So yeah, I don't spend that much when I go out because I'm usually always well oiled before i leave the house. Sundays are the worst though, if there's a show on or something. Like a few months ago I was hungover as fuck and I dropped $120 bucks in Mossy's distro. Just because.

8.Coldplay or The Verve?
You know how much I love both band so this is unfair. I have been asked it before though. When I have long hair, Richard Ashcroft is the man I look to for inspiration. When I have short hair, I'm looking toward Chris Martin. Richard is more of a lad, and wears loafers so that appeals to me a bit more. But then again The Verve have some amazing songs then some average ones every now and again. Whereas Coldplay every song on an album is top class. I'm not choosing, just know i like both bands better than most other bands.

9.Who is someone you would punch if you met them?
There is two people I would love to punch called Josh. I have slapped one and tipped a pint over his head at Garth's 21st some few years ago. Since then every time I see him I fire up and try to fight him. It's hilarious. He's got a fucking foetus for a head. The other one is just a fucking dog. I know there is some good Josh's out there, but my encounters with these two have really left a sour taste in my mouth and caused considerable damage in my life.

10.Most memorable Bondi moment?
So many. "Lotsa Timesss". Some of my best and most vivid memories include "The Fusball Summer of 07/08", "Unzy gets stoned and reads obituaries all night long 06", "Watching Foxtel with everyone aka Ross Kemp: Gangs", "having lots of visitors and them leaving drinks in your fridge". You could really make a sitcom out of our house. One memory I don't like is the ghost. Porch hangs and our new outdoor setting out the back are going to dominate this summer. And now we have Rockband, it just goes from strength to strength. Girls still don't really like the place though...their loss really.

11.Best thing about your new car?
Oh my new car is so good. I've kept it so clean and its got silver alloy wheels and a metallic blue finish. I even go in the car wash with it. Makes a difference from the old canary. The air con works and it fits all my dk boards and snorkelling gear in the back...I couldn't be happier. Well if I didn't have to get a loan I'd be happier. I think I might have the best car in Miles Away now, maybe we need a poll to make sure though. In any case its not a gay fixie, so I'm doing all right.

12.Favourite TV Show?
My all time favourite show is Eastenders. I watch it on fox (UK-TV) everyday. Well I used to, until we got fox disconnected. So I get my parents to tape it and then I watch it on my 10 inch television in my bedroom. You can't beat it. The title music. The sheer depressingness of all the story lines and characters. Ross Kemp used to be on it. People give me shit about it, but I don't care, I grew up watching it and I'll watch it forever. I used to watch Coronation St also, but I'm not as heavy into that cos i grew up in London not Manchester.
My other passion on television is LOST. Now that I could watch over and over. I don't get people who don't watch it. It is the ultimate in TV. The Jaguar of free to air broadcasting. I even have a Lost tattoo.

13.Best LOTR character?
Aragorn. Brave, rugged, honest. When you watch the movies it puts a whole different spin on things from the books. I'm glad I got to read them before the films ever did. Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn was a great choice. I do tend to base my look on him when I am not looking at Richard Ashcroft. I wish he would have married Eowyn instead of Arwen though. I like Faramir because he is similar (David Wenham), and his stupid Dad tries to burn him alive because he didn't like him as much as Boromir (Sean Bean). Although Boromir is bad for wanting the ring for himself, he also comes good in what I think may be the most moving scene from the trilogy where he is shot with arrows by orcs protecting the hobbits. The music in that scene is very sad. I would suggest that one who is interested in reading the books, do it while listening to Tristeza "Dream Signals In Full Circles", it makes it that much more enjoyable.

14. Best LOTR quotes?
"SARUMAN!?"
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

15. Two Australian EP's people should listen to?
Mere Theory "Towering Sun" & Away From Now "Shadows Allude Invade"
absolute classics that I could listen to for the rest of my life. Maybe.

16. Top Five Dropkneers?
1. Aka Lyman
2. Paul Roach
3. Dave Ballard
4. Kyle Maligro
5. Fred Booth

Throw in Unzys air forward as the best bodyboarding move in the history of the sport, better than Nuggets gorf even.

I asked for in depth articulate answers, Nick delivered.
He's shaving his head soon. That's all.

W.O

1.Did you mean for this to turn into an interview blog?
No I did not. But I enjoy reading them more that writing about something that happened in my life. I reckon that the 6 people that visit here would too, so there.

2.Who can we expect to hear from next?
Whoever I send questions too I suppose. Chicko probably because his girlfriend has gone to America for a month. So he will definately have time to answer stupid questions from me. Kyle Evill, Viv Blurton, Alan Rennick. Some skinny dude from Perth will be up next.

3.Are any of these people cooler than you?
Is this a serious question?

A.D

1.Will there ever be an Alleged reunion show?
I highly doubt it to be honest, as much as all the drunk dudes and extreme hard moshers punish me about it I really think that alleged is dead and buried without ever needing a funeral, it just kind of died out in the forest and decomposed into the wilderness like the victims of the Claremont serial killer. Not saying I never would, say if some Arabic prince was a rabid alleged fan and for his acceptance into manhood celebration party he wanted us to play for copious amounts of money, drugs and a free ticket to the land of 1000 virgins then I would definitely think about it. I don’t really think it would be possible now though, half the dudes are too emoz and apparently unzi has to be hooked up to a weed ventilator if he goes over 120bpm on the drums. Something to do with his robotic arm or some shit. Chewy is still a sick cunt though. Bottom line, stop hassling me about it, I regret it enough without some stupid drunk cunt getting in my face.

2.Would you rather sing for Ignite or AFI?
This is seriously the hardest question I have ever been asked, damn your high intellect. On one hand you have the uplifting melodies and fantastic lyricism that Zoli lays down album after album and you know as well as I do some of that shit is unpassable, plus when you play a show there will be tonnes of surfy dudes crowd surfing and getting on stage and shit. That would rule. On the other hand AFI is fucking epic, so many good albums, you would get to be the king of the emoz, possibly create an army of dark and skinny henchmen who would go into battle for you at the flick of the switch, it would be like being the wicked witch of the west but way more emotional. I also love wearing fruity make up at any chance I get so that is a total positive, I don’t know about arm stockings though. At the end of the day I will have to go with the latest album results because that’s what you will be playing night after night and we all know that Our Darkest Days kills DecemberUnderground. Just call me Zoli.

3.Which of your fields of expertise do you enjoy more? Photography, Nightclub Owner/Operator or all round sick cunt?
Definitely all round sick cunt. Photography comes a close second because it is the only thing in my life that I have ever been half good at but it is also my full time job, even though I work for myself I would rather my boss be a sick cunt than not be a sick cunt so being a sick cunt takes priority. Nightclub Operator/ Mafia King Pin takes third as I only did it so my friends could rage somewhere less shit. I get drunk for free and get to be a total cunt to people who I don’t like the look of, plus I have just started carrying a piece which is kind of great and empowering but it still borders on being totally lame at times so yeah it takes third place in my multitasking life.

4.What is your favourite TV Show?
The usual witty shit that someone of my extreme humour normally gets, you know those shows, the ones that only certain people find funny but not many other people do. You wonder why they like it and it only comes down to the fact that their humour is in a far greater realm than that of yours… I fucking hate those people. If I had to pick one it would probably be Seinfeld just because. I also like cartoons, fucked up stuff and people getting hurt bad.

5.First CD that you bought?
First Actual CD - Warren G Feat. Nate Dogg – Regulate CD Single from memory. When I was young I used to rollerblade and listen to a tonne of hip hop because my brother did, undercut, cross colours ,the whole shebang.
First Punk CD – I think it was like Green Day – Nimrod I fucking lost my mind on that record when I was like 12 or some shit. After that I scored Survival of the Fattest and lost my mind again. I then proceeded to buy every 20 dollar Fat Wreck Chords release, the first one in that bunch was No Use For A Name – Making Friends.

6.Best musical concert you have attended?
This is impossible to answer for me to be honest. I could go on forever for each category of music but really where is it going to get me? Nowhere, that’s where. Someone reading this might think I am a little bit cooler because they identify with the type of music that I like but that really doesn’t matter all that much. I have attended many live musical events in my time all good in one way or another but there is nothing that really sticks out to me as the be all and end all of musical performances. Maybe nothing has ever moved me enough to pick that point in time, maybe I am still waiting for it, maybe I have never crowd surfed enough, but when I find that time in my life I will be sure to let you know. I will tell you the most I ever circle pitted was at Millencolin at the Grosvenor back room in 2000. Sick.

7.Best memory of living at Bondi?
The hanging, just being there and passing time with all the people that came in and out of that place while I lived there was fucking sweet. I made so many random mates who I would never ever be friends with unless I was so closely tied to that house. The standouts would probably have to be Mawds throwing a poo at me while I was taking a shower then running into the shower to pick it up, Parrish bringing in bloodied sheets the morning after he butchered some girl in his bed, Bondi ‘Viva La Mexico’ New years party and the chron parties.

8.Have you ever done a poo in public?
I can’t say personally I ever have, which kinda surprises me to a certain extent. I have been involved in episodes involving other people’s poo though. I did have this phase when I was younger where I used to pee on things a lot though. I used to pee on anything, this one time I peed on a girl while she was making out with a dude just to see if the dude would do anything, not that I wanted to fight him, I just wanted to wee on his girl. Another time this girl had a party because her parents were out of town, me and my friend at the time went into her parents room, lifted up their sheets and whizzed all over the bed, again, not because I didn’t like her, I just wanted to pee on her parents bed to see if the cat would get blamed. She got like kicked out of home and stuff after the party, pretty heavy, the house was trashed though, maybe the pissy bed just topped it off. Looking back on it, it was such a bad thing to do, but we all go through phases I suppose.

9.What was your first job?
I used to sell Sunday Times on Saturday nights at various night locations when I was like 14. I once sold a newspaper to Ricky Grace at The Como, best night of my life. The guy that used to drive us around was this fat 20-something virgin dude we called Chunky Butt. He had a really low tolerance for things he thought were gross. He hated porn and once told us he threw up when saw a chick cop a cumshot in a porno. Once I farted in his car and proceeded to tell him the smell was poo particles flooding his mouth and nose, he then threw up in his hands and lost control of the car we went flying across the road narrowly hitting a bus and mounted a kerb. So epic. I loved fucking that dudes life.

10.What is the best/worst thing about living in Perth?
Best:Adventures, Floreat Beach, Bondi, Aurora Italian Restaurant, FAB, Taka, Wolves, the 400 party bus, Life, Party, Bar Hopping.

Worst:Northbridge, Fremantle after 8pm, Fuck of we’re full sticker’s, City Cowboys, Metro dudes, Amplifier Bar after 12am, Distance, Closed Minds.

11.Who is someone you would punch if you met them?
Little Wayne, I have been training intensely based solely on the fact that if I met that no talent, vocoding piece of shit face to face I could smash his whole life up. Fuck, I fucking hate him so much. So irritating. If Chicko’s blog was a person I would probably punch that too.

12.Earliest memory of Daniel Jameson?
Me coming home one evening and seeing Borlini, who I knew as the famous front man of Trust Broken at the time, hanging in my lounge room with two other shy, surfy looking dudes. The fact that so many people passed through that house I didn’t even take any notice of them. I probably wrote him off a bit that weekend but it wasn’t until I realised he was a crazy gypsy prince when he started drinking that I started liking him. Our relationship has now flourished to almost everyday MSN contact and the occasional cocaine enriched Skype session which is always fantastic.

Delby is a certified GN.
Visit his Nightclub.
Visit his blog.
Buy him drinks.

D.N

1.What is your all time favourite bodyboarding film?
Can I say PASTICHE? Nah probably No Friends 3 : THIS IS YOUR LIFE. It was the first No Friends video I ever saw. I remember my cousin bringing it down from Perth saying it was the coolest one he'd ever seen, that was around 1999 and they've only got worse since then. Nah, I just remember that Incubus intro with shit like police cars and 16mm footage blowing me away. Then Andre's section to that Pop Unknown song and Ross McBride's(best he ever had) section to that Moby song it was just all so much better than anything else I'd ever seen.

2. How many Fucked Up records do you own?
Around 30 I think, not including doubles. I'm mad punx.

3. Why don't you have your license yet?
I do have my license. I planned on keeping it on the down low, buying a car then suddenly just rocking up everywhere and surprising everyone. After I spent the money I was saving for a car on various trips that dream kinda died. But I can still be seen driving to Gas and surfing alone, mad soul man. Chad Barba of the South West.

4. First ever memory of Daniel Jameson?
I think it all began on Msn, but in the flesh it would have been seeing him on that blue deck, orange rail, white pin 4play board out Honeycombs. There was this little left hand wedge that was super fun.
I remember by the next time I saw him he had dyed his hair black and pierced his lip haha. Those were the glory days.

5. Best out of Roach/Aka/ Keith Sasaki?
Roach, Why? Tired old answer. Speed & notoriety out of the water.

6. Why are the majority of bodyboarders so gay?
I think the fact its because bodyboarding is so youth based. We're all so stubborn and ignorant when we're young, you just get deluded into thinking you're perception is right and that you're killing it, when actually you're fuuuuucked. Refuse to accept ect, ect.

7. All time surf session?
The first time I got a custom board it was an all red M CUSTOMS (in the period between MEZ CUSTOMS and when Todd Quigley changed the name).
I hadn't ridden it cause the waves were shit and I didn't want to plug it. I ended up going to gas this onshore arvo.
I could feel the board just felt like the right size and width, so different to my BZ HUBB 39 which was mad too wide for me.
Anyway the wind died off and it was just me and a few surfers until Ryan "HARDBALLZ" Hardy came out.
Being a 12 yr old this was enough to get me frothed and after a while the wind died off and the surfers went in, so it was just me and someone famous surfing perfect 3-4 ft gas.
He talked to me about how my board looked like it was a heaps better size and then confirmed my name was Dan, which I claimed so hard for the rest of the year to Ben and anyone else that didn't BY-NAME-PROPERLY-KNOW-Ryan Hardy.
Those WERE the days.

8. Where do you work? Best and Worst thing?
Prevelly Park Beach Resort/Liquor Store/General Store.
I've never had a job like it. I've got free drugs, free booze, met girls, every day I eat free food, I don't work hard at all & meet almost anyone that's new into my, albeit shitty, suburb almost immediately.

9. Best and worst thing about living in Prevally.
Best is surfing uncrowded waves & hanging out with friends.
Worst is that I have been here for around 11 years, the only thing that's changed is all my friends have left.
I'm left here with hippies, tourists, southern cross soldiers, narrow minded surfers, tradies, ice addicts and general winners.

10. Who is someone you admire/look up too?
Hunter S Thompson. People that write him off as a drug addict are so clueless. I admire him more than anyone I have ever met in the flesh. Except maybe Stickman.

11. Who would win out of a fight, pre mutation, between Oroku Saki and Hamato Yoshi?
Hahahhahaha.

12.Best Show you've been to?
I have to break this into hardcore and non hardcore categories.
HXC: Probably JAWS final show, we went so far, it had to be so good and it was. I remember seeing their first HQ show so them breaking up kinda made me feel old or something but it was so insane being in Melbourne with you, Jamo, Onton and all the Perth crew. It was like Perth's best in Melbourne and every band was so good.
Other bands: Tie between The Brian Jonestown Massacre & Interpol. BJM were everything I had waited a year for, Anton is like a modern day Bob Dylan in his prime; genius. Interpol were just so fucking good, went the encored with NYC & PDA I lost my shit in a indie-pop kinda way.

Dan's answers were the only one's I haven't edited (much) or had to change much spelling. He has a new bodyboarding film titled Pastiche coming out early next year. Check out what's happening with it over at Claws And Teeth.

B.W

1.What is your favourite AFI song?
As we have discussed many times Will, the whole Black Sails In The Sunset album.
But at the moment if I have to narrow it down it would be This Secret Ninja off Very Proud Of Ya. I think I like it the most because, been a rock star like I am, I can relate to the lyrics of the chorus.

2.What bands have you played in?
Wasted Til Death.
Final Hour/ Trust Broken/ Monkey War.
Hollow Words Will Burn.
Silence Is Murder. (Twice. First on guitar, now drums. They needed some credibility so they got me back).
Encaged.
Heaps of little cover bands. I think there is some more but I'm starting a new sweet one all by myself. It will be better than Rape Her Corpse.
I'll probably play in Terror soon too.

3.Favourite TV Show?
Cavemen is so funny. I like how they have wild, flowing locks like mine. But its on at the shittiest times and i don't even think its on anymore. I've stayed up so late to watch it and gone to work so tired and grumpy. My students suffer because of it.

4.How long have you been growing your hair?
Everyone asks this. Since like Year 9 or 10. I am planning to cut it soon into either a devil lock or a Dog the Bounty Hunter Style bleached mullet. Raging.

5.What is your favourite south park episode?
Way too many to narrow it down. If I had too, I'd say Faith+1 or Night Of The Living Homeless. I also related to With Apologies To Jesse Jackson (Nagger episode), people are sometimes calling me a Nagger.

6.First CD you bought?
First one I actually bought with my own money was Michael Jackson's History. Listened to it with those sweet big headphones and got scared at the start of Thriller when the freaky, squeaky door opening and footsteps plays.
I still get scared when I hear a door squeak.

7.Best show you have been too?
There's been lots of shows I have called "Best Ever". Iron Maiden, Slayer and Mindsnare would all be close. But I think the best set I have witnessed would be from Death By Stereo at the Prince. I had wanted to see that band my whole life and to sneak in on a school night and watch them was awesome. The singer touched my face, I melted.

8.Have you ever done a poo in public?
Haha no waayyy. But I have witnessed a few funny ones.
Best was at the Australind Shopping Centre and the pooer did it right in the middle of the electronic opening doors. Directly where they connect.
It was like 12 on a Saturday night. He then had to wipe his arse with bank receipts. He got the receipts by checking his balance with his pants still around his ankles.

D.J

1.What is the longest flight you have been on?
I'm pretty sure the longest flight I've been on was from Honolulu to Sydney in Feburary 2006. At the time I still had a Discman with a split Tegan and Sara/Killing The Dream cd.
It was something like 12-14 hours I think. Thomas, Brendon and myself rocked into Sydney at midnight and had to sleep on the floor until our flight back to Perth at 10am.
I was glad to be home after that.

2.What is your all time bay seeesh?
All time Bay session would have been while I was in year 12. Mad wagged school on a Friday and headed down there at about 9am. Surfed until 4pm, only stopping once to smash a juice box.
Riders that day included Craig Lyons, Adam Luehman, Dan Chong, Tom O'Brien and the much talked about Alan Rennick and the biggest invert of his life. So big.

3.Do you shave your pubes?
Yeah have been since I was 15. But since then I've changed over to using hair clippers, shaving to the skin is a no no.
My friend Kyle Evill ritually shaves his chest, stomach and pubic region every 2 weeks. It is sickening.

4.Who is someone you admire?
My old man. He's worked hard his whole life and it's all paying off now. Gets amazing seats for every AFL Grand Final and drives a Kenworth truck called "Missin' Slim". Mad Cunt.

5.What is your favourite Dave Bill story?
Haha pass. Every single one I've heard at Collie Bridge Tavern cracks me up.
Viv should make a spoken word David Bill tape, he would be a millionaire.

6.What was your first job?
My first real job I guess was at Dominoes. Worked a 2 hour shift, Mum picked me up, got in the car said I was never going back. I never did. But I did keep the uniform and the hat.

7.Most amount of money spent in one night?
It's somewhere between $450 and $500. I can't recall the exact amount. Christmas Eve 2007 at the Prince Of Wales. 50 Jager bombs..... you know that I know.

8.Favourite childhood TV Show?
Ninja turtles. Standard. Never got the Turtle Blimp toy though. I wanted it though.

9.Who is someone you would punch if you met them?
I don't really know. Probably some nerds off Broken Glass Online. Fuck they talk some rubbish, dick brains.

10.Best show you have been too?
Sound and Fury 08. I pretty much got to see every band that's big in the world at one show. Bought the hell mosh to Rise and Fall, stage dived to Paint It Black and hurt my neck during Pulling Teeth. Great 3 days of hardcore, couldn't ask for anymore.
Also the Miles Away/Hard Luck show at the Prince when I got carried out by the bouncers only to have MA stop and the crowd chant "JAMO, JAMO, JAMO". The bouncers realised who they were dealing with, let me loose and I ran back in to the triumphant cries of my peers and started moshing. At that show I also threw my shoe on top of a light and it melted. Good times.

Check out Jamo's blog at DAY IN DAY OUT
My mate. He's living.

D.B

1.What are some things you like to do in your leisure time?
Try to skateboard. Lurk the internet. Vacuum the floors at Hillzeez after hours.

2.What was your first job?
I worked in my Dad's shop (Pots'R'Us), sweeping the floors and other small jobs.
Got paid Ten (10) dollars an hour which was so good back then. Bought heaps of Ghost Drops and cans of Coke.
I once got in a pot playing hide and seek and got stuck. Dad had to smash it to get me out. I cried.

3.What was the last song you listened too?
Can't Hardly Stand It by The Cramps. Song title reminds me of serving clueless dudes with Southern Cross tattoos at work. I can hardly fucking stand that.

4.Do you shave you pubes?
Nah, not regularly. I did once though. It wasn't for me.
I got a few in growns a couple of days later.

5.What makes you angry?
A few people. Working, being poor. Smart water been so expensive.

6.Most amount of money spent in one night?
Probably about $300. Was a good night, me and Will did lines off a strippers arse. Normally by Saturday I have no money to spend and I'm on the goon though. Does the job.

7.Best and Worst thing about living in bunbury?
I actually can't think of a best thing. Bunbury's ok, better than Mandurah anyway. Worst is lack of decent skate spots and the Pubs and Clubs are shit and the same people go there week in, week out. Most of the girls are gross as well. I need dreadlocks.

8.Favourite childhood TV show?
I was blind as a child and we didn't have a TV at our house. We weren't poor, just needed all the power for the pottery wheel.

9.Have you ever done a poo in a public place?
this one time........

10.Who is someone you admire?
Ali Boulala. Good skateboarder, sweet lifestyle(obviously before jail).
MYTOWN, just a cool person in general.

M.B

1.What are some things you like to do in your leisure time?
Lately I've been swimming at the beach just because it's refreshing. Weights, I have a super rig. Reading, I like Tim Winton.

2.What was your first job?
Wall and Floor Tiler. I'm still in the process of finishing my apprenticeship. But with a different boss now. My last one wouldn't let me leave work 10 minutes early to go to football training, such a fucktard. Can't wait to finish though. Hate having dry hands from glue and grout.

3.What was the last song you listened too?
I hate music. My brother is an emo because of it.

4.Do you shave you pubes?
I trim them. My girlfriend wants me to shave, but I do what I want.

5.What makes you angry?
A lot of things. Having a sore leg mostly at the moment. Also my friends smoking weed instead of hanging out.

6.Most amount of money spent in one night?
Not that much, probably about $150. I usually find one of my drunk friends to leach off.

7.Best and Worst thing about living in Bunbury?
All my friends been here is the best thing.The Bay is too, a lot of people write the place off, but I think it's alright. Better than Burekup anyway. Worst thing is that there are heaps of dickheads and really shit surf the majority of the time..

8.Favourite childhood TV show?
I dunno, so hard to chose. Everything on ABC. First real show I think I liked was Friends cos Rachel was hot. She was the first girl I masturbated over.

9.Have you ever done a poo in a public place?
In the ocean during Phys Ed. The Irrigation channel and in an alley way. Used my jocks as toilet paper.

10.Who is someone you admire?
Daniel Haines.

TOOTHACHE

The worst kind of ache.

I have had a pretty large cavity in one of my teeth for ages. I kept avoiding going to the dentist as they charge you to breathe in dental surgeries. But the decay caught up with me eventually. I was in Perth on Saturday watching Shipwreck AD (who were mad good) and had a bit of pain in the tooth.
I didn't take much notice of it and had some Nurofen thinking that it would settle. By the time the show finished at about midnight I was in agony.
I would rate this pain as the worst I have had, up there with copping the urethral dilator(I have not actually had the urethral dilator). I was doing 150km/h to get to Baldivis to get some more painkillers. Got there, smashed 3 Panadol rapids and kept driving.
About 20 minutes later the pain returns and I am back to making weird groaning noises similar to an elderly Catholic priest at a Jim Henson exhibition. Once I was home I waited until the Chemist opened and got some really strong coedine tablets. My Dad also bought some "Oil Of Cloves", claiming that his Mother used to give it to him to soothe pain.
Surprisingly they worked and I was finally able to get to sleep. I ended up getting into the Dentist at 5pm Monday afternoon. The dentist informed me I had an exposed nerve and proceeded to extract the tooth. I got 3 injections in my mouth so there wasn't any pain. It was a really weird sensation though as I could feel him crunching and pulling it out. So now I am pain, and right top molar, free.
Loving It.
There was also a really hot receptionist there. It made handing over $220 a bit easier.

annoying stuff

a) Cyclists that insist upon riding on the road when there is a cycleway adjacent to said road. I can understand if they are the real deal Cadell Evans cyclist. But your average everyday mountain biker can move the fuck onto the path. Fuck them.

b)Every morning I buy a Masters Mocha and a West Australian from the servo and it costs $5! For fucks sake five fucking dollars. $3.70 for 600ml of milk. Chuck a glass of soft drink been roughly the same price as beer and I'm forking out the big bucks for beverages, and people whinge about fuel prices.

c) Tribal tattoos, unless you are actually from an actual tribe, just don't.

d)I don't really care if people smoke, it isn't going to give me cancer. But when they flick their cigarette butt onto the ground that shit really makes me pissed off. How hard is it to dispose of correctly. The filter in cigarettes take up to 15 years to break down, and on average make up about a quarter of beach side litter. Stick that in your mouth and smoke it.

e)Television news reporters who sign off with a ridiculously long pause. Peter Harvey pioneered this(Peter Harvey....Cannnnnnnnberrraaa), but since it was original and he had a great voice it was cool. There is this square who does all the political reporting for Channel 7 Perth called Geoff Parry. He takes at least 4 seconds to get out "Geoff Parry, Seven News". A grade wanker.

f) When people indicate to go straight through roundabouts, I realise you have to indicate out of them, but not when you are going straight. It's like indicating through a slow point. Use your common sense for fucks sake. Even worse is when people don't indicate at all then get all pissed at you for pulling out in front of them. I have noticed that it is usually female drivers. Fucking chicks.

g) The law about riding a bike with a helmet. I don't think it is affecting anyone whether or not I wear a helmet, except me. Police should worry less about things like that and worry more about finding more "prime and only suspects" in murder cases.

This is probably pretty petty but I don't care. This shit really grinds my gears.

Today I didn't have to work, so I went bodyboarding at Supertubes.
It wasn't very good, only about head height with really strong NE winds.
But was really fun, mostly because I was the only one out there.

I could have driven further south and gotten better waves, but I used the excuse that my collarbone is still healing.
Had iPod on shuffle on the way there. Nothing better than when you get a number of great songs in a row.
I got a heap of songs that I really like one after the other. Put me in a good mood.

Yesterday went swimming down the bay. Josh Neubauer drove onto the beach and did ringies. It was crazy. He's crazy.
Water Balloons in town on Saturday night was crazy.

I do what I want.

ABC KIDS

If you grew up in Australia and were born anywhere from 1980ish-1990ish then you will remember a lot of these shows.

Some of my personal favourites from that era that every now and then ,I will hum the theme song too, or have a 5 second flashback that makes me feel all weird inside include:

Lift Off. Which most people remember for talking backpacks.


Johnson & Friends. Alfred the whinging waterbottle was a prick though. Diesel ruled.


Ship To Shore. I know someone that can play the theme song on recorder. I bet you are whistling it now. Hermes Endakis, Surfsea Island!


Tin Tin. Captain Haddock, Thompson & Thompson, Snowy, Professor Calculus. Purchased these on DVD in 2005. Still great. Tin Tin has mad hair.


Animals Of Farthing Wood. Had a big argument on what this show was called one night with a group of friends. We settled on "Fox & Friends"....I know, what the fuck where we thinking?? Badger, major ruler.


Bangers & Mash. All they wanted to do was have some fun. Another good theme song to sing along too.


Banana Man. 29 Acacia Street, ugliest kid. Eric is a normal boy...until he eats a banana and an amazing transformation occurs. I wonder if it happens when he eats banana flavoured food, or banana milk.


Babar. The guy was an elephant, but wore a green suit. Obviously a cool dude.


Super Ted. Spotty Man from outer space gives reject teddybear cosmic dust. Then Mother Nature gives him a table spoon of superpowers. Oh shit yeah.


Round The Twist. I think everyone will know and probably own some Round The Twist videos/DVDs. Bronson is the maddest little dude. I read on an Internet forum that he was a madd pussy master in his later teenage years thank to his role in RTT.


Raggy Dolls. Chongy will know what I am talking about. Probably really shit, but it used to fill in ten minutes between Charlie Chalk and Art Attack!


Art Attack. Where to begin. Learned how to draw trees on this shwo. Used to eagerly anticipate the stuff he did at the end of each episode. Usually using the subject matter, he would create an oversized work of art that you could not work out until the final 30 seconds when it was revealed.


The Trapdoor. "Burk, feeed meeeeeee!!". Of all the shows this is one that everyone remebers when bought up in conversation. Great claymation. Best theme song. Best ever.


So many more great shows, might leave some for the future. Hit me up with some of your favourites via comment or carrier pidgeon.

Nuts

Check out how big my nuts are.
Decent.

Also this was a great night, NYE 07.
Went to Dorcia and raged.
Hope this year is fun.

Dot Point

- Went to Hydey show on Friday night. Cool.
- Went to JB HiFi for the first time ever, bought 3cds. Cool.
- Went to Peel Thunder Fairest and Best gala event.
- Wore a suit, looked fucking hot. Cool.
- Barely polled, but stole cutlery. Cool
- SWFL Grand Final, Eaton Boomers colt's lose by a point. Not Cool.
- Carey Park League win, Viv Blurton blurtonizes. Cool.
- I watch people get mad wasted at the football club and laugh at them. Cool.
- Take off my pants and walk around with my penis out at after party. Cool/Uncool, still deciding.

Breath

Bought this yesterday, for $45. Pretty steep for some ink on bits of recycled paper. But I think it was worth it. Probably my favourite by Tim Winton. Not really into fiction that much, but his books are always fantastic.

YOUSHALLNOTPASS

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

http://www.emo-corner.com/

Was researching The Emo today, found this cracker of a website.
I was previously in the dark as to what emo really was. Thankfully this website both explained, and gave me tips on how to be a better emo.

Emo,yes it is short for emotional. But,there is more to emo then hair and looks. Emo is a state of mind. Most people,made them selves appear emo. While in reality,they have to much hope to be emo. Emo is much like goth. But,goth is Darker. Emo is more emotional,harder to fake. Yes,some emos cut themselves,but there is more than that. Emo is one of the hardest things,to explain. People hate emos,b/c they view us as suicidal,cry babies,or just week. That's NOT what emo is. Suicidal yes,at times. But,don't judge me for being emo. It's not what I chose to be. It's just what I am.

I don't choose to be an Emo, I just am man. Why do people hate us?

Emo is much like goth. But,goth is Darker. Emo is more emotional,harder to fake."

This is so true ay, hell easy to fake the Goth, just get some Docs and a trench coatand you are a fkn goth. I hell hate the Goths stealing our dark emotional thunder

This website also helped me with my emo hairstyle, lucky because I was struggling.

The 411 on this includes incredibly jet black hair with possible brighter colors such as blue, a maroon-red or a possible pink. cheap box of die and some choppy scissors will help you to create your own emo hairstyle.

Could it really be this easy???? I've been missing out for sure.

Emo boys kissing.yummy. Considered to be the hottest thing in the emo scene.

I've been trying to tell all my emo friends that this is the hottest thing on da scene, now I have the evidence to back it up. I'm gunna kiss so many dudes now!

Now I'm clued up on The Emos I can start hanging around with all the other emos out the front of shopping centres. If you see me don't give me shit but, cos I'll be suicidal.

JANUARY EAST COAST TRIP

In January me and Dan (Claws & Teeth) went over to Sydney/Melbourne to watch some bands. Mostly Jaws as it was their last show. this was on my myspace blog and i copy and pasted it here.

Thursday -Arrived in Sydney at 8.30pm, caught a taxi to Tanya's house. Went to wrong address. After walking around for an hour finally found the house at about 10. Dropped off stuff and caught a bus to Oxford Street to meet up with everyone there.
Payed $8 to watch 2 Set Your Goals songs, then went upstairs and played pool and hungout with Pat and Onton. I saw so many hot girls, i think they were girls anyway cause the guys dress fairly fruity.

Friday- Caught the train out to Newtown to Resist, first time there. Could have gone crazy but held back and only spent $250. Could seriously spend $1000 there easily haha.
Saw some weird people on the train on the way home. Pretty much my first experience with public transport and its pretty cool. Double Decker trains and shit. Went back to Tanya's and got ready for the show, watched some cricket too.

Got to the empire at 6.30 cos Pat had to set up merch and shit. Got some dinner before Thrush played first at about 8.30. All the bands ruled (Thrush, White Male Dumbinance, Homewrecker, Jungle Fever, AVO, Extortion). Highlights were Homewrecker's AFI cover and wheelchair staqe dive during Extortion and Extortion's set in general.

In between bands Onton and I were helping ourselves to complimentary room temperature cheese and crackers in the middle bar. Show finished around 1, but we hung out there until 2.30 or so before Pat drove us home.

Saturday-Slept in til about 10 , watched some video hits and cricket then caught a taxi to the airport. Plane landed in Melbourne at 5.30pm. Caught a shuttle bus to Southern Cross station and met Clay there. Went back to his house in Richmond and dropped off our gear then went to The Arthouse.

Everyone I had talked too had told me to get there at 8 on the dot or risk missing out. We got there at 7.30 and there was no one there! Listened to Extortion sound checking through the window, then went and got some food. Heaps of people there when we came back at 8ish. Jamo was frantically messaging me trying to get a ticket cos he was running late. He got inside just as it sold out, stoked!

Was pretty killer line up for the show with 731, SJN, Agents of Abhorrence, Jaws, Mindsnare and Extortion playing. Jaws were amazing, so glad made the trip over. Mindsnare at The Arthouse....FUCK! So crazy. Onton got his nose smeeshed about halfway into their set, blood everywhere. Extortion had the impossible task of following Mindsnare but they stepped up and ripped through an even better set than the previous night.

After the show everyone was going to Bang! But there was no room in the car so Clay and I caught a taxi. It was pouring rain at this stage and after about 20 minutes of hailing every taxi we saw, one finally stopped. Had to line up in the rain for about 15 minutes and it sucked haha. Jamo, Mawds, Dan and everyone else was already in there. Once in met up with everyone and raged. I had a dance off with Carlson which ended in victory to me by unleashing the FLYZ EYEZ! Got back to Clays at about 5 soaking wet and fucking tired as all fuck.

Sunday- Got up at around 10 and went to Missing Link in the city. was planning on spending up big, but I couldn't be fucked. Went back to Richmond to where Break Even was playing a show. Saw some Melbourne(Stand Hard, Hold Up!) and Adelaide(Sledgehammer, Snake Run) bands as well as Something More and they ruled. Break Even played last and killed it.
After the show walked back to Clays as the venue was only 1km or so form his house. Hung there for a little while then went to Vietnamese Lunar New Year festival on Victoria St near his house. There were lots of hot Asian chicks haha. Met up with The BE/SM crew for dinner at a pub that had $4 gourmet pizzas, I ate two.
We all piled into the vans and headed to Dezzy's house in Hawthorn before everyone piled into a van and drove to Set Your Goals hotel for a party. I was driving around Melbourne with 19 people in the van with 28 Days- Sucker and Pennywise-Bro Hymn turned up as loud as the stereo could go, it was amazing.
Once we got to SYG hotel we played Zippo Bong and Hartley and Big Jim had a Beer Pong game against SYG. Was real fun night and I got to meet some top blokes. We eaded back to Dezzys with everyone even rowdier than before. Van dives and side to sides were going down everywhere.

Clay and I bailed back to his at 2ish and left everyone else to rage/smoke bongs. I got my shit form his and headed to the airport, got there at 4. Flight didn't leave until 6 so I tried to get some sleep, but couldn't. Mostly cause of Jamo ringing up every 10 minutes talking shit about how stoned he was.

I am fucking stoked i got to see so many awesome bands and hang with great people. Thanks so much to Tanya for letting a stranger crash at her house and to Pat for driving me around. Thanks to Clay for letting me crash and been the maddest cunt I know haha. Seeing Extortion twice in 2 nights was so good, but watching Jaws was definitely the highlight. Even if Onton has a fucked nose.
"IS THAT YOU COUNTRY WEST AUSSIES IN MELBOURNE"

I'm pretty sure I'm going to head over to Sydney ofr No Apologies last show. Hope that trip is as fun as this one was.

HELLO BOREDUMB

Is what I've mostly been doing for the last 2 1/2 weeks while I sit at home.

-BLACK SAILS IN THE SUNSET ON REPEAT.
-VIEWED LORD OF THE RINGS EXTENDED VERSION 3 TIMES.
-WATCHED COSMOS, READ COSMOS.
-RE READ THE DA VINCI CODE.
-WATCHED A SHIT LOAD OF MUSIC MAX
-SPENT A UNREASONABLE AMOUNT OF TIME ON THE INTERNET.
-ATE OVER 5 LOAVES OF RAISIN TOAST.
-DRANK, ON AVERAGE, A LITRE OF MASTERS MOCHA A DAY.
-SLEPT IN UNTIL 9AM.
-SPANKWIRE TAB PRETTY MUCH PERMANENTLY OPEN.
-PAID CLOSE TO $1000 IN SURGEON, DOCTOR AND RADIOLOGIST CONSULTATION FEES.

I don't think I could handle been unemployed for an extended period of time. I suppose if you could go surfing and do other physical activity it wouldn't suck as much. But I can't so I'm just going to wallow in self pity.

On another note my team mate Hayden Ballantyne won the Sandover medal on Monday night. Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty awesome, will definitely be drafted. i wish I went and shared in the emotion like Matt Brown did, I would have poured Red Wine on the carpet.
"Get Loose!".

Funny Images

HAPPY GILMORE

MY FRIEND WITH AN EGG IN THE NEST, WAS TO RAISE MONEY FOR CANCER THOUGH.

THIS MAKES PERFECT SENSE

THIS IS SO HYPNOTIC, I COULD WATCH IT ALL DAY.

WAY BETTER HEADLINE THAN "COUSINS IN TROUBLE!"

HAHAHAHA THIS GUY DEAN THE DOGGED A LITTLE KID.

PROBABLY THE MOST FAMOUS PHOTO ON THE INTERNET.

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE THIS GUY IS A FULLY SICK FRAT BOY FROM THE USA.
DELTA CAPPA YOU LOOK FOOLISH MATE.

Entourage

Watched the first episode of season 5 today. I've been looking forward to this for a while. Great show.
Makes me think what my life could have been if I did drama at school.
I could have been living the high life with my friends in LA, partying and running amok.
I would have had to have come up through the usual Australian path of course.
Home and Away or Neighbours, maybe even an ABC children's show like Blue Water High.
After moving to LA with high hopes, I would have made money waiting tables until a high powered studio executive spotted my enormous talent and used his influence to cast me in a minor role on a popular situation comedy.
From there I would have starred in a cult movie hit and blossomed into Hollywood's brightest prospect.

Or I would have got relentlessly teased for doing drama instead of kicking the footy.

GIFS

So bored......






This cured it for a while.
Probably real gay but they are so fun to make.

I have been living off raisin toast and cheese toasties the last week.
They are real easy to make with one arm and taste awesome.

COMMUNICATION

Spoke to everyone in Mexico today. Was awesome. Technology is so good.
Jamo blew me off cos he had to download some music off the net though.

FAKER

They played at the Prince tonight. Was funny as the 250 people there were just waiting for that "This Heart Attack" song. As soon as they started playing it people lost their shit in a catchy rock pop kinda way. After they finished the song a fair few people started to leave. They had a few more songs left in the set.
Josh Neubauer stage dived and hit his head on the roof.
I found a phone, the found owner of phone, then gave it back. It was a shit phone.

XRAY

OH SNAP!
On another note my friend Kyle Daniels fell off his skateboard on Saturday. He was been towed by a car at 30km/h when he fell off. He had to be airlifted to Royal Perth, and is in an induced coma in intensive care. Hopefully he will be okay. I am really feeling for his Mum, Brother and Sister. Alyson's kid's are her life so I send mine and everyones best wishes to her, Ash and Kayla.

BROKEN BONES

Yesterday while I was playing football I broke my collar bone. I was playing league and going pretty well until I ran back with the flight (Duncan Kellaway style). And got crunched by an opposition player coming the other way. Instantly I knew I had broken it. After a morphine shot and a 30 minute drive to the hospital, where we then proceeded to wait for 3 hours until I had X-Rays. Missing out on end of season celebrations at the moment sucks. But an expected 6 weeks off work sucks more. I'll try and put a picture of the X-Ray up here soon.

TRAVEL

Thursday is the last training session for this football season. I am torn. On one hand I am sad the season is ending. I think I have underachieved this year, but I only have myself to blame in that respect. On the other hand I am glad I will not have to do the 200km round trip each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday . And the 350-400km trip each second Saturday. When you consider that the first training session was on November 12th last year, that is almost 10 months, minus the 2 week New Year break, of solid training/driving. If I could be bothered, I would work out the distance I have covered. So when people ask me, "When are you going to travel?". I could pull out these statistics and blow them away.

MOCHA

I love Masters Mocha. Recently a new flavoured milk company tried to muscle it's way onto the shelves of delicatessens and service stations, Goulburn Valley. Once, when there was no Masters available, I made the mistake of purchasing one of these horrendous milk drinks. It tasted like a cross between chalk and watered down week old skim milk. Needless to say I will never make that mistake again.

Olympics

The Olympics are on in Beijing at the moment, the focus of the world squarely upon it. If the world can put it's differences aside for this event, surely the global community could come together for something a bit more important than sports.
How trivial does finding out who the fastest runner is, seem when compared to eradicating poverty or curing disease?
Imagine the amount of money spent on staging these games? Not just from the host nation. But by all the competing countries. This happens every 4 years.
Feed the starving kids and worry less about rhythmic gymnastics and lifting heavy things.

5000 Songs

Music Max is currently playing the top 5000 songs of all time to coincide with the Olympics. It is generally pretty sweet, heaps of cool rock'n'roll. But I was watching yesterday and GUY FUCKING SEBASTIAN was number 3000 and something. Obviously someone responsible for selecting these songs is having a joke at the viewers expense. Out of all the songs ever recorded in the whole history of humans, Music Max is telling me that Guy Sebastian, the fucking dweeby looking prick is in the top 5000?!?!


For fucks sake give us paying Foxtel viewers a break. I don't shell out 50 dollars a month to be insulted by some Cross Neck, Afro Soul sister/brother been in the top 5000 songs. I watched the skeet shooting instead for 5 minutes. I will be invoicing Foxtel for those 5 minutes of my life back.

CLEVER SPECIES

A band called Clever Species played their first show on Sunday. They will be my favourite band once I get their record. Band features 4 out of the 5 members of Jaws, including Onton. Fkn Onton!!!!

Friday Night

I'm sure people don't really want to read about my weekend. But fuck them, here it is.
Friday after i finished work I drove to Perth to go watch Mindsnare at Amps. It was the first time I have seen Meatlocker, been looking forward to it for a while. They were sick, all 3 shows on the weekend they sounded awesome. Had fun chilling in between bands with my friends from Perth since I went up solo (not many friends).

Mindsnare played and it was out of control. They are a phenomenal band. I did some of the mosh. Among Us, In Reach Of No Man and Cold were the highlights for me. But you could have chosen any of the songs they played. So stoked I got to watch them 3 Times in a weekend.

I hung round after the show as I had the intention of sleeping at Bondi. At about 3 I left everyone else to keep raging and bailed to go back there. As you come out of Amps and get back on the road that leads to the freeway, you can either turn left to Freeway South or keep going straight to get to Freeway North. I went left because I thought the Bay would be good on Saturday morning.

Coming through Mandurah I was wrecked. It was 4am and I had almost been up for 24 hours. Lines were blurring as I drifted off. I had to do something to stay awake. I read only last week on a forum that some bloke had a wank to stay awake while driving once. So i loosened my jeans and got to work. It had the desired effect as I instantly became alert (and also aroused). This was all well and good until I needed to ejaculate. I tried to use my shirt, but unfortunately I was unsuccessful. My seat caught the brunt of my life saving move. I got home at 5 and didn't even end up surfing. The stiff offshores had blown what swell there was away. All I had to do on Saturday was clean the aftermath of the drive home.

What Mate

Bask in the enormity of the universe.

And cringe at your insignificance.

GIFS ARE GREAT WHEN THEY WORK.

MINDSNARE

This weekend. No football. If I don't get kicked out of the Prince I will be severley disappointed in myself.

A Lonely Speck

Holy Fuck....
I have been immersing myself in information regarding space and the universe. The more I read about it, the more I am humbled by our place in the vast cosmic arena. The Hubble Deep Field image was, when taken, the the furtherest the human race had ever seen into space.

To the naked eye, this is a patch of sky with no visible activity in it. No planets, no distant stars or galaxies. When, in fact, the image revealed a plethora of distant, faint galaxies. About 3000 distinct galaxies could be identified in the images, with both irregular and spiral galaxies clearly visible.

Imagine in all the universe, the galaxies which must exist if these, far flung galaxies exist in this, the tiniest fragment of space. Is it not out of the question to imagine life in one of these galaxies? Humans must surely not expect that Earth is the only planet capable of harbouring such life.

The galaxies you see in this image are about 12 billion light years away. 1 light year = exactly 9,460,730,472,580.8 km!! As a comparison, the spacecraft Voyager 1 was about 14 light hours away from Earth in March 2007. It took that space probe 30 years to cover that distance! How many planets and moons and solar systems and stars must there be between Earth and the galaxies captured in the Hubble Deep Field? The answer to that, may never be known.

This is an image taken by Voyager as it left our planetary neighborhood for the fringes of the solar system.
Caught in the center of scattered light rays .A result of taking the picture so close to the Sun. Earth appears as a tiny point of light, a crescent only 0.12 pixel in size.

I leave you with this quote from Carl Sagan.
Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.

Been in this daze for days
Wind has blown the coldest rains on me
And washed my dreams away
Pondering if this could be
The ending of my losing streak
I'm hanging out to dry
and I think I've caught a cold.

I'M BEACHED AS

HAHAHAHA TECHNO RAVE STYLEZ

Some Photos

Weekend

Won Football. Raged Perth. Saw Ignite. A+ Saturday/Sunday combination.

Time

Been a fair while since last post. Computer crashed and was away for a month or so. Just been playing football and working. Bay was good about 3 weeks ago, massive side waves. Saw Blacklisted 2 weeks ago, they blew me away. Very powerful live band.

My iPod and Camera got stolen too, so probably won't have many photos to put up now which sucks.